Common mistakes

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Common mistakes

Postby mystic » Mon May 19, 2014 1:49 am

I thought to open a topic about common mistakes that can arise from cultural differences, or simply to point out some red flags in a mixed relation.

According to my understanding, the person who comes to a site like this is a person who was hurt in the past and wants to realize a dream that seems impossible to realize where he/she is. The American teenager would not come here, he has still to do his experiences in his home country. So, it happens you usually meet guys 40+ (even 50+ or 60+). For the girls, some want a better living situation or just want another type of culture. So, you can find also younger Filipinas. Many of them also had some bad previous experiences and have kids.

So, while most would agree that a person, to start a new relation, must let go the past in order to live the future, I think this is a common mistake. We cannot just cut away part of our past and the other person should accept us as we are. Somebody might tell us: "Fix your things before. Then, we will talk, if it is God's will". It is very easy to take the good part and avoid the bad one. Well, I think like this: "If you are not with me in the troubled time, I don't need you in my good time".

Another thing that I look in a girl is if she works. There might still be some heavens where the woman can still be a housemaid, but in my country it is not an option. A family won't be able to live if the woman stays home. When I find a woman that is lazy to work, wants an easy life, all I think is that "she is not mature for a married life". There are many hard working filipinas, but I see that many also want to do nothing and only hang home. I consider this as a severe risk, because love is not only taking, but also giving. It cannot depend all on one person.

Finally, if there is commitment to build something (a stable relation, a future family), it is a hard work. Love is at the center, but the environment must be prepared. Waiting things to fall down from heaven or that it happens exactly how we dreamed is the ticket to failure. Both must show the interest factually and work for it.

Another thing is to keep always a good communication. If you are not there when the other needs, the relation won't last long. That's always part of the effort, but it should be natural if two persons are in love. If one finds only later something that happened to the other... well... maybe the bond was not such a big deal.
“It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18)
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Re: Common mistakes

Postby m&m » Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:55 pm

mystic wrote:I thought to open a topic about common mistakes that can arise from cultural differences, or simply to point out some red flags in a mixed relation.

According to my understanding, the person who comes to a site like this is a person who was hurt in the past and wants to realize a dream that seems impossible to realize where he/she is. The American teenager would not come here, he has still to do his experiences in his home country. So, it happens you usually meet guys 40+ (even 50+ or 60+). For the girls, some want a better living situation or just want another type of culture. So, you can find also younger Filipinas. Many of them also had some bad previous experiences and have kids.

So, while most would agree that a person, to start a new relation, must let go the past in order to live the future, I think this is a common mistake. We cannot just cut away part of our past and the other person should accept us as we are. Somebody might tell us: "Fix your things before. Then, we will talk, if it is God's will". It is very easy to take the good part and avoid the bad one. Well, I think like this: "If you are not with me in the troubled time, I don't need you in my good time".

Another thing that I look in a girl is if she works. There might still be some heavens where the woman can still be a housemaid, but in my country it is not an option. A family won't be able to live if the woman stays home. When I find a woman that is lazy to work, wants an easy life, all I think is that "she is not mature for a married life". There are many hard working filipinas, but I see that many also want to do nothing and only hang home. I consider this as a severe risk, because love is not only taking, but also giving. It cannot depend all on one person.

Finally, if there is commitment to build something (a stable relation, a future family), it is a hard work. Love is at the center, but the environment must be prepared. Waiting things to fall down from heaven or that it happens exactly how we dreamed is the ticket to failure. Both must show the interest factually and work for it.

Another thing is to keep always a good communication. If you are not there when the other needs, the relation won't last long. That's always part of the effort, but it should be natural if two persons are in love. If one finds only later something that happened to the other... well... maybe the bond was not such a big deal.


Again, dating online or searching for a partner online is not easy. The dating websites, would only show those nice things happen or the successful one. But even it seems happy married, we do not know still what is the life of those people who have been into marriage finding the one.

It is important at first, know the person socially and spiritually. That is vital in any relationship when someone intend to enter with.
An intimate relationship w/ God must b our highest priority. When U hav right or poor relationship w/Him,out of that relationshp flows everything else in our life. Thus, your relationship to Him determines how you live your life. It all relates to that
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Re: Common mistakes

Postby Nari » Thu Dec 19, 2019 9:15 pm

Having past experience or relation is hard to forget. It becomes part of ones life and we can do nothing to change it. The damage has been done, feelings has been hurt, physical harm has taken place, words has been said. Entering into a relationship while having past relation is really a struggle. Bringing up the past relation with current relation is devastating to your current man/woman you are into relationship. He might not intentionally tell the woman to fix her past experiences or relationship, but it is an emotionally struggle in his part. I do believe that the current relation has a struggle for his relationship because when someone he loves and has past bad experience, long distant relationship really makes it harder. I tell you, if the guy or the girl has past bad experience and he or she is not there for you physically during your hard times is frustrating for him or her because he or she wants to have your presence when you are feeling down.

Now adays, two should work together for a living for the fact that goods are expensive and tax is everywhere. Some women, believes that being a man as the leader in the family, have the full trust to the man that he act as a man and that includes being the provider. However, it does not limit there that the woman will do nothing however, the man wont stop the woman to grow, can be a career woman, a business woman, or any better version of herself she wants to be. The man, I believe, will also trust the woman's decisions and actions that will bring growth not only to her but also to her husband and the whole family in the future. Most women likes a man makes decision as the leader. A man doesn't need to be a millionaire to house his woman and children separately from his parents. But what it takes is his love, courage, and determination to provide the woman the freedom his woman and his family deserve. In addition, most women, wants there man take responsibility as a man. It means that he knows how to lead and be a good leader, someone who will lead them to a good and blissful life. Finally, most women needs the man to stimulate women's mind in making a living. I guess it needs two to tango to make a happy relation. Give time, talk each other, open up each other, talk about future plans and ask about expectations. Most couple do not know what their expectations into marriage that's the reason why it is a big struggle. Nothing impossible if one is willing to change and do their best to make the relation work. Give a try again, remember, we all learn from mistakes. Who knows we become better version now compare to the past.
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Re: Common mistakes

Postby crisipicada » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:32 am

Nari wrote:Having past experience or relation is hard to forget. It becomes part of ones life and we can do nothing to change it. The damage has been done, feelings has been hurt, physical harm has taken place, words has been said. Entering into a relationship while having past relation is really a struggle. Bringing up the past relation with current relation is devastating to your current man/woman you are into relationship. He might not intentionally tell the woman to fix her past experiences or relationship, but it is an emotionally struggle in his part. I do believe that the current relation has a struggle for his relationship because when someone he loves and has past bad experience, long distant relationship really makes it harder. I tell you, if the guy or the girl has past bad experience and he or she is not there for you physically during your hard times is frustrating for him or her because he or she wants to have your presence when you are feeling down.

Now adays, two should work together for a living for the fact that goods are expensive and tax is everywhere. Some women, believes that being a man as the leader in the family, have the full trust to the man that he act as a man and that includes being the provider. However, it does not limit there that the woman will do nothing however, the man wont stop the woman to grow, can be a career woman, a business woman, or any better version of herself she wants to be. The man, I believe, will also trust the woman's decisions and actions that will bring growth not only to her but also to her husband and the whole family in the future. Most women likes a man makes decision as the leader. A man doesn't need to be a millionaire to house his woman and children separately from his parents. But what it takes is his love, courage, and determination to provide the woman the freedom his woman and his family deserve. In addition, most women, wants there man take responsibility as a man. It means that he knows how to lead and be a good leader, someone who will lead them to a good and blissful life. Finally, most women needs the man to stimulate women's mind in making a living. I guess it needs two to tango to make a happy relation. Give time, talk each other, open up each other, talk about future plans and ask about expectations. Most couple do not know what their expectations into marriage that's the reason why it is a big struggle. Nothing impossible if one is willing to change and do their best to make the relation work. Give a try again, remember, we all learn from mistakes. Who knows we become better version now compare to the past.
well just learn from the past.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God
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